I went to the Barber Shop again, to get Anthony’s hair cut. This time, a dude walked in who was substantially younger than me (10 years, maybe?) and he was chatting it up with the barbers. Somehow, the conversation turned to a restaurant called the Tilted Kilt (??), which from what I can understand, is Hooters on steroids. Because we need another one of those, right? GROAN.
According to the youngin’, Hooters has it all wrong b/c now they have to be “fair” when they hire chicks, so they end up hiring “fat chicks” in order to not disciminate. W.O.W. Meanwhile, Anthony is getting his hair trimmed and looking at me with this inquisitive expression. Please lord, don’t make him ask me questions about what this all means.
the youngin’ continues: …”Tilted Kilt hires models…it’s not hard to leave with one of them! I got a chick’s number the other day!”…whoop dee flippy-flap-doo – a numbah! <– I now use the term “nubah” when referring to the word “number”. This is b/c Anthony found a website where you can print an ID card for something…detectives? I donno…anyway – it refers to your “ID Numbah”…I think that is pretty funny! Numbah! So…there you go. Numbah.
I digress: the blabber drones on…”I mean, what is Hooters thinking!? Don’t they know that married men go there to get away from their wives and they don’t want to see fat chicks in half tops when they flee their houses?”
Oh…b/c he’s married…right? B/c he knows what it’s like to be married? Right?
One of the barbers was becoming visibly uncomfortable with the conversation b/c it was so inappropriate, what with a woman in the shop and an 8-year-old, no less. When the youngin’ said the part about married guys wanting to go to Hooters to get away from their wives, the barber looked at me and said “he’s single” and I replied, “I wonder why”.
To quote my sister: Men are so obtuse.
Yes, Flora, they are. The shastards. <– that’s another clean swear. Use it. I can’t type what it means, but use your noggins.
Oh – and, in closing, I would like to remind all of you pretties out there: we are all beautiful in every way, shape and form. We are amazing, brilliant, strong, empowered women who light up rooms when we walk in…guys like the youngin’ wouldn’t know a wonderful woman if she slapped him in the face. Serves him right.